I would like to scream right now. Its only the first month of school and already I am ready to scream. Its like babysitting. And the lies.....do they really think we are dumb?
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've been such a bad bad blogger...I have been peaking on you, sorry for not commenting.
I have been so busy with the start of school. I've also been helping out at our friend's restaurant since he is shorthanded until they close in October.
Yesterday I found a snake in my house. I almost died. I am not afraid of snakes. But seeing one in my house freaked me out. I wonder how long he was there- eeewwww
So tired lately, trying to get back into the routine of school. I'm working with the same woman directing the school again- wish I hadn't taken it. They are already driving me nuts. (especially her)
+1
I gaine a lb. Last week was hard. I fell out of my routine. I didn't track my food. My Mom put out my favorite cheese Thursday after the funeral. We had eggplant parmesan and a delicious chicken lasagna. And to boot I am getting my period. I was a hormonal mess yesterday wondering what was wrong, but then I woke up and DUH makes sense. Hoping for a bigger loss next week.
I am in a blah mood. Almost on the verge of tears. For no reason either. I need something to do. The creative part of my brain is yearning for something. I think a trip to the fabric store is in my future. All my craft/sewing supplies are in a closet so in order to use them I need to unstack them and it makes a mess. I need a craft room. We have a 3rd room, currently called Em's spare room-filled to the brim with toys. I'd love to make it a nursery. But if not just a spare bedroom for guests with crafts nicely organized. I love being a SAHM but I need something more. I am not sure what to do. Its just one of those days to question everything I guess.
Enjoy your Sunday!!!!!!!!!
Tonight is the first board meeting for Em's school...I am hoping this group of ladies works out better than last yr. We got some new faces and some oldies. But the old ones are nice sooooo? We'll see.
Tomorrow is the day for my grandfather's services. This is all becoming too routine. I hope I don't have any more funerals for a long time!
I headed to the beach up the road from me yesterday with some friends. Hoping to go there again Friday with Em and my cousin's daughter who is sleeping over tomorrow night.
Its hot today. Summer is here. I am so used to all the rain we were having that I keep forgetting to water my garden and plants. The deer jumped into my garden and ate the leaves off of Em's sunflowers and since they were in decided to mow down my zucchini plants and on their way crunched some others----EErrrrr Hello keep out cute deer ladies-----
Yesterday I headed to my Mom's for a sad gathering of what is left of my teeny tiny family. My grandfather passed away yesterday morning. He had a pacemaker put in Friday and my Mom was bringing him home yesterday. She didn't make it to the door before she needed to call 911.
My WW meetings are Monday nights at 6pm. Its the only meeting in town. But I hate weighing in at 6pm. I know it doesn't matter. But I just feel like whatever I eat that day or close to my meeting sabotages me. This is only my second weigh in so its not a problem. I just had such a good day on Tues liked how I felt and looked. I feel it, however, small. I dunno..maybe I'm just thinking about it too much. I have plenty of pts (only good thing about being as over weight as i am) so I am not really hungry. But at night I want to snack...eeeer! I just hope I can make it through this weekend without going over my pts. Any loss is still a loss right? Monday night at 6pm is so far away............
I am bored. Its gloomy and I have no fun money. The hunny gets paid tomorrow and I have some errands to run--looking forward to getting out of the house. CRAZY!!
I am in my second week of WW and doing OK. Although I don't feel like it. I was feeling in the dumps this morning and needed something but refused to snack. Got a little Ho Hum and watched some TV. But about an hour ago I jumped on the treadmill and walked for a mile/21mins. I feel better. I am now eating a late lunch 'Lean Cuisine Ravioli' YUMM!!
Grandma Ethel is doing well. She had her surgery Wed and came through ok. This morning she called my MIL to ask her where her glasses are...LOL...I guess she is the fighter we knew she was. I'll be visiting with some family on Saturday since my MIL's siblings and SIL are in town to see Et. Not a good reason for a get together but a get together none the less.
Holy Hot day!!! I need a pool.
Jim had the day off and we headed to the park and then the movies. We saw Aliens in the attic, it was cute.
I had my first weigh in for WW this evening....-3.4lbs :) I am motivated and hope to keep focused!!
On a sad note, Jim's Grandma Ethel, 87, had a heart attack last night. We were surprised! She isn't your average 87yr old. She golfs and bowls and likes to flirt with the fellas. She even told us once that she is a cougar because her fella is much (MUCH) younger! She hadn't been feeling well and now we know why. She has to have triple bi-pass surgery Wed morning--keep her in your prayers.
Its been crazy around here. I have been so busy. I have been reading but not really commenting. This week should be quieter so hopefully I'll have some fun posts.
~ I've had enough of the rain. I'm tired of seeing a million slugs a day. The damp smell-gross!
~Packets for school went out. But after the fact, found out after I made a correction to something I left something out-became a mini-issue and I wanted to beat someone! But its over and I am moving on. (Have the same partner as last yr-so I guess I can expect some bumps)
~ Swim lessons are over. In 3wks Em went from being scared of the water, to swimming without her bubble and even jumped into the deep end and swam with her instructor. I can't believe the progress- I am super proud of her! I may look into lessons at the Y this fall to keep her going. She has now added swim instructor to her list of grown up jobs.
~Switched my WW account from online to monthly pass, I am going to a meeting tomorrow night and am hoping I will see some better results. I also plan to do some walking and working out. I mean I do have a great neighborhood for walking, treadmill & universal gym in the basement (however musty it smells)--USE IT WOMAN--right?!?!?!
~ I dyed my hair today, it was way over due. I bought some on sale and I am loving the color-close to my natural (what I remember) color.
I hope everyone is doing well!!
I'm not sure what happened. I spent the afternoon at the beach with Emily and a friend. We came home hungry around 6:30pm. We decided to watch a movie (Fly Away Home) and eat dinner in front of the TV. I made mac n'cheese for Em and decided to make some flavored rice for me. I got the water and rice mixture into the pot and cooked it up. When all was done we headed downstairs.
I had the AC above the sink on in the kitchen. Into our movie some I heard a different sound. Watery sound. But I thought it was the AC-you know sometimes you hear the moisture doing its thing. Well about an hour and a half into the movie I still kept hearing that water noise. I paused the movie and headed upstairs.
S#it!! F&$%!!
There was water everywhere. The faucet it was running. Somehow it was turned on and the stopper was in the sink. I quickly threw towels all over the floor and counters. After we cleaned up the water I thought-crap- could it have gone through the floor????? I headed to the basement and it did. I had 1/2 inch of water in a huge puddle on one section of the basement. I was freaking out. UGH. I moved the treadmill which was sitting in the deepest section (hoping it still works) We still had boxes from our move, so that helped soak up most of the water.
I have NO IDEA how this happened. I joked when we first moved in that the house was haunted-lol. I know that I didn't leave the water running- I was up here for 10-15mins up here cooking after I used the faucet. So I would have noticed it. Maybe the cats? I don't know.
CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!
Today is a good day!!
Emily did excellent at swimming lessons this morning. She tried her best and she even raised her hand to go next.
I stepped on the scale for hahas and saw a loss :)
Went through some old baby clothes and felt motivated to walk and lose weight.
Looking at the babies clothes and hearing Emily say "Awww, how cute, OH thats adorable" made me think how great for her. To have a sibling for life. A friend. A playmate. But also someone new to share in the wonderful journey from pregnancy to motherhood and then some. She is just that age I think she would enjoy it (most of the time, lol)
Motivation here I come!
There she is going into the pool, without me, without a bubble or arm flote thingees. Today was her first official swim lesson. She did pretty good. She did slip near the wall and went under a bit but she was ok. But when it came to her turn to try her "freestyle arms" she said she had to go potty. So her instructer put her on the wall and she came to me. I looked everywhere and could not find a bathroom...ugh...so I took her to sqauat by the car. I told her this would be our secret. Nothing happened. I kind of thought she was scared. When we got back to the pool she floated on her back and tried the backstroke, but when it came to "freestyle arms" she said she had to pee again. My poor baby. I ordered her this, a friend of mine who has a pool uses this for her kids and they do so well. A little extra confidence. Well hers did not come in yet, I am guessing tomorrow night. One more day without a bubble.
I never took lessons as a kid. Sometimes at camp I would take lessons, but always was in the beginners group because of lack of skills. Eventually at like age 11 or so maybe older I taught myself....it just clicked. I am not a great swimmer but I can. I wish I had signed her up when she was younger... I hope she does better tomorrow.
After her lessons we went for a short walk on the boardwalk in town. It goes through White Memorial conservation its a large wildlife refuge, nature center etc... This trail goes through part of the property. The walkway is very narrow and kinda rickity so we didn't go far... heck if you cross paths with someone its a tight squeeze. But it was really pretty, we'll have to venture there again some afternoon.
I don't want to jinx us, but the sun has been a wonderful addition to my week. I did some yard work yesterday and some reading. For the first time this summer we were outside all day.
I've been struggling to stay motivated with this "life change" and decided to try ww meetings again. Just knowing someone else will know if you gained or loss seems to motivate me.
I finally slept well last night. The three nights prior I woke up around 4:30am and couldn't fall back to sleep until like 7am or so. One of those nights I almost had a mini melt down. I felt like at that moment I was too late to have another baby. I was certain that I was too old, that I didn't have enough time to lose the weight I wanted to and I would be too old to use the fertility coverage if it came to that. It was just so real, it felt like the end. But then I had a dream that someone wanted us to adopt their baby boy- I was thrilled. So who knows what my subconscious was trying to tell me.
Lately I feel like I have nothing to blog about. I took pictures the other day to post and now I've misplaced my camera. Maybe I should find that today. I am hopefully heading to the beach (shore) this week and also probably checking out the town beach (lake) and see if its worth getting a pass to. I know a lot of people who go (one of who annoys me some- when it came to school politics- but that part of our relationship is over) I know Em will have a blast. Also Emily starts swimming lessons Monday for 3 wks (there goes my sleeping in). I'm looking forward to seeing her do this, its her first time too.
We have a lot of toad visitors in my yard, but this guy startled Em tonight. Just hanging onto the garage. Sorry the picture is blurry- couldn't get a good shot in the dark carrying a ton of crap, lol. But he is cute isn't he.
Tomorrow is one week of new diet, time to weigh in. Scarry!
Feet hurt. Not sure why.
Tired but must keep reading (Dark Summer by Iris Johansen)
I hate weeding my garden....Oh I will have to take pics of my garden tomorrow.
Good Night.....see ya at weigh in ......................
I made a cup of coffee and was heading to the deck to drink it quietly with nature. But its raining .....AGAIN! So I am in here on the computer drinking it. I wanted to read today too...out on the deck.....But nooooooo. Getting depressing here in CT.
So I am dying to read a ton this summer. Emily has a library card and we go to get her books quite often. I didn't get my own library card because at the time my license didn't show the new address and I had no proof I lived here. (Em got hers through school) But can I tell you, I haven't had a library card in like 15 yrs. The books I've read have been my own or borrowed. I was planning on getting my own yesterday and getting a new book to read. But I walked into the adult section of the library and froze. I didn't even know where or how to look for a book. In my old city they used computers to look up books now, not card catalogs in drawers lol. But this library I could figure out where that may be. But me feeling silly decided not to ask or find out. Another day I guess. But how silly. I'm an adult and can't use the library. Thank god I have a ton of books here.
This weather has been crazy. One minute rain, the next a peep from the sun. I finally got out to the garden to weed some (boy do I hate weeding) I get so tired, so quickly! Way out of shape. I am dripping with sweat-lovely picture- sorry!! But the plants are growing despite the puddles they've had to endure this past month.
Headed to story time today, Emily enjoyed that. Most of the kids headed to the park after-but I didn't feel like it...had to weed! Looking forward to April's baby shower Saturday. Can I just tell you-I can't seem to find my scotch tape. Found two rolls but both ran out before I could finish wrapping her gift-what the heck!! I know I have some....but I don't feel like going out now...Maybe some will just appear somewhere. I need a vacation...a mini one would be nice...I would love to go to the beach with no one to bother me so I could relax and read.
Oh and I cheated and stepped on the scale this morning -3.2lbs woo hoo!! I hope I can stay focused!
It scary to think I've said this a million times before...But this time I hope its the last. I've started a new 'diet', 'lifestyle change'...whatever you want to call it. I need to get me back. My hubby is doing it with me, so hopefully we can support one another. So far so good today....and one day at a time is all I can handle. Next tues morning when I weigh in, I hope that can motivate me to go another week. Tonight we are having my FIL over for dinner to celebrate father's day- I made a yummy pasta salad, low fat version...and Saturday is April's baby shower (but I will be with Chele so we can be good together)....but other than that I can be good.
Oh and on the school front....I got an email from one of the other board members who basically vented and got things off her chest. So she could feel better, she accused me of not sticking up for myself and making her feel alienated. I just want to knock her out. I did not reply. She is gone, her child has graduated and she has nothing to do with the school as of June 30th. She has been a pain in my butt all year. She is also the woman who through a tantrum at our end of the year meeting because a vote didn't go her way. Then she wrote a letter about it to all board members hoping someone would side with her. We all think she is losing it. The sad thing is we get along when we aren't talking school. But now, I don't think I can be friends with her, not after this. I don't think it was her intentions but she made me mad and upset. She needs to let it go and get a life. Grown ups....really.
in my old age. We had a birthday party this morning. It was for one of the boys in Emily's class and I am pretty good friends with his Mom. When were getting to leave she invited us to stick around, so we did. Then the kids went swimming and then we were invited to stay for burgers. Well we ended up staying for 8hrs, the kids had a blast and us Moms (her SIL & I) had a nice time chatting and had a beverage or two. But on my drive home and now..... I am kinda anxious and worried that I overstayed my welcome. I mean I really do not think so, we had an awesome time. But I am surely getting paranoid and I am sitting here worrying about what they are thinking. I am losing my mind. Its not like I just didn't leave- I'm crazy! Its official!! When did this happen?
I finally had a day of doing nothing. It felt so good. School is out but I was at the school everyday this week to clean and start painting. Its looking good. I slept late and then headed to Walmart for a few odds and ends.
Oh and did you guys see this story? I'm adding a watermark to any of my photos that I post. How crazy?? I would be livid. Kinda scary. Ok so this week has been super hectic. But its also rainy and muggy. I hate muggy. I'm also noticing that my house starts to smell damp when it is muggy. I am very sensitive to smells. I love good smells....flowers, perfume, clean clothes, shampoo...you name it, if it smells good I love it. But on the other hand I hate stinky smells.....feet, garbage, kitty litter, bad breath, BO, dirty clothes....ugh I can smell it a mile away. Oh and when I am sick or feeling sick....Smells bother me no matter what. I once refused to wear my favorite perfume for a LONG time because I was wearing while I had a migraine and got ill.
Well my house smells muggy. My house smells from cleaning products.
I need some air freshener STAT!!!!
Sorry I had to vent.
I am getting ready to wait in line for at least 3hrs to buy tickets to my daughter's dance recital. Can you believe these Mom's get there 3hrs + to buy tickets.....Holy crap. Thankfully the dance instructor told me about it or I would have gotten there at 4pm to find a line a mile long. Wish me luck!!
Off to a wedding today. Not thrilled to go. Hope its a good time. I hate dressing up for these things when I am overweight. UGH. Hope everyone has a nice day.
I feel like I haven't stopped in weeks. Round and round I go. Tonight is my last board meeting for the year. Two more weeks of school. The last week of school will be crazy. That wed is Em's graduation, Thurs is her dress rehearsal, Friday is her last day of school, Sat is her big recital! Oh and I just found out that Monday the tickets go on sale from 4-7...But people line up really really early!! Like hours early! can you believe it...last yr they went on sale on Saturday morning at 9am and people got there at like 4:30am.....holy hell!! CRAZY! When will the madness end?
Thursday night while making dinner I spilled my drink (my very red drink) on my white shirt. While eating dinner I spilled the same drink on my white shirt two more times. Then I spilled the same bottle (of very red drink) onto the table and onto my shirt. This beverage was not even alcoholic....Jim thought it was hysterical.
This morning I fell in the shower. Our tub is very slippery, I purchased a mat for it. Said mat wasn't present this morning. Bam...I fell.
I told my husband if I fall one more time its off to the Dr I go....Maybe I am having a stroke (jk) or I am just a plain old klutz.....(haven't been this klutzy since my pregnancy)
Hope everyone is enjoying their Memorial Day weekend. We just got back from the drive-in, we had an excellent time!!!
I fell yesterday! Head first to the ground. Fell on my knees mostly-they hurt. I got so shook up I almost passed out.
We stopped for dinner on our way home from a Tball game. A little burger place on the way home. We had just finished dinner and its attached to a Carvel, so I headed in for a soft serve to share with Em. We were outside and I was walking and bam I fell. There was a step, I guess I missed it but I don't really know. I felt like I was going to fall and break something or hit my face. I just sat there dazed and looked toward Jim and he was just sitting there looking in my direction...I was like "Jim" but I don't think I said it very loudly. I was like why isn't he running to help me? There was a table in between us, so he didn't see me. All of a sudden there were 3 men -who did see- there to help me up. I was still looking at Jim like help...but still he didn't see me. I walked over and was like why didn't you help me, I fell. He was like are you ok? I was NO I FELL!! He didn't see it at all, he felt so bad. It was just so weird I was so shaky and in pain. I walked over to the car and when I sat down my knees were KILLING me, I just wanted to cry...from pain and embarrassment. Then I was getting all hot and shaky and my hearing was "muffled"...I knew I was getting ready to faint. Jim ran to get me some ice for my neck-helps with the fainting.
I am ok. Some pain in my knees and still a little shaken up. But fine. But I still really don't know what happened. It was just a strange experience.
So funny, when I first sent Emily to preschool...I was like "if she's ready, she's ready. If she's not, she's not. But now I am so on the fence. I have no doubt in my mind that she is ready and will do fine. But our town has full day kindergarten 9-3pm. But she can go to preschool again and her teacher believes it couldn't hurt and she would only benefit from another year to mature (how mature can a 4 yr old get?) We had Kindergarten orientation today, I went just to go. She was fine, she isn't shy or afraid. She would have stayed there all day. She doesn't even look over her head to see where I am. I worry about friends, she made friends and they will be going on...she will make new friends but??? On the other hand she is perfectly ok with going to preschool again. I guess I should just follow her lead. I hate having the decision....we are one of a handful of states that still give the option 4 by Dec 31st is eligible for K.
What did you do? Do you have a fall baby?
Why is it ? When your computer dies, goes on the fritz, gets moody...you lose your mind too. I was without mine for a week, but it feels like a month. I still can't quite get into the swing of things. I have so many things to do for the school, for myself-never mind all the blogs I want to catch up on. My computer is my lifeline, its official. Its crazy how much you rely on things like your car, cell, computer, tv, TIVO...and when they're gone...your lost.
I've had enough things die on me in 2009, dear God are we through? Maybe good things are to come....maybe that baby I'm hoping for? I don't think I can take one more thing breaking on me.
*On a happier note, Emily and I went to the drive in Saturday night, it was fun. We had a blast. Monsters vs. Aliens and Wolverine: origins. Both good!! Oh and after pick up at school-off to Ikea with Chele-woo hoo *
Hi People, I am back. I feel like I have been gone forever, so many blogs to catch up on. My computer died last week although it feels like longer. My hard drive is toast, I have all my photos on there and found out it will cost like $600 to "maybe" retrieve them-no guarantees. I will have to wait on that because we also had to buy a new computer. UGH. Seriously how many more things can die/break on me this year. Both cars and my computer?? Seriously I give up. Luckily I forgot I had some pictures on snapfish, shutterfly etc. So not all is lost but I had TONS of pictures on my computer. My computer wasn't even 4yrs old and I hadn't backed them up yet. I've learned my lesson (I hope) and will do a backup monthly!!
How is everyone? I can't wait to check everyone out.
I am looking for songs- kinda "life songs" for example Michael Buble "this crazy life" kinda making a compilation....any suggestions or ideas....no need for the work life in it- just good songs like "stand by me" etc.... Help I am drawing a blank!
I haven't had in years...since I was a kid. Well people living in the country has its perks, but it also has its downside....Poison Ivy. I have it and it looks gross. I didn't even touch what I thought was Poison Ivy, but while weeding I must have pulled some PI roots. That day I didn't wear gloves because I thought I would just pull a few and then go in. UGH. I'm not sure I want to be a gardener, between the spiders and the poison ivy....help me!!
so for the past 2 days John the plumber has been here working on a problem. Well John has this young man with him-lets call him the "apprentice". The way my house is built (tri-level) they are directly below me and I can hear every word they say....John in singing. When the 'apprentice' walked in he made a b-line to the window where my kitty Willow was sitting, she jumped off to great him....He says to me " She looks like a torty" I was like "ok" then he says " you wanna know how I know" again I was like "um ok" he goes on to tell me that " they are known for some marking on her nose". He is so weird. Yesterday he kept coming upstairs and petting my other kitty Bubba...and looks at the computer and says "XP?" I was like seriously dude, go back downstairs. I'm afraid that posting this story or telling my hubby just doesn't do him justice, I wish I could hide a video camera. LOL
But I will tell you this, I am dying to take a shower. He cut off our water last night and then said we could turn it on, but we didn't have hot water this morning. UGH
I can't believe its almost May. I am supposed to be working on losing weight so I can try for another baby. I wanted 2009 to be that year, it had to be that year....I am too close to 40. But I've now wasted 4 months. Time flies. I need something to keep me focused...any ideas. Like something always in my face saying think baby/diet!! I have found the perfect 'bad' photo for inspiration, I just need to find that 'good' photo for inspiration. I also need to make an appointment at my obgyn....dreading that.
I think I need to go day by day...today so far I am doing well with points and I plan on hitting the treadmill in a bit.
I have a fear, a REAL fear of spiders. Most people (my family) laugh at me and usually say "its just a bug". Well when I am near them or see them, I get sweaty, my heart pounds faster and I get very shaky. I am afraid of those suckers. I sooooo try not to be, I say oh its just another bug...but never fails when I see one I freak out.
Now, living where I do, there are spiders everywhere. I've learned to pick my battles. Little house spiders don't freak me out (I don't like them-but). Its when they look like tarantulas...I know ha ha ha...but I don't mean huge like tarantulas...I mean big bodies and those fang thingees. Does that make sense..... I can tolerate the small bodies and long skinny legs.
Well anyway...I made my way outside for some fresh air, hoping not to cough all over the place. As Emily and I were pulling up "weebs" we must have seen 20+spiders. Not huge, but not small. Like dime sized bodies. They were running all over the place. Of course because they had those thick bodies.....eeeewwww. Not sure I can do this garden thing.
Hey gardeners....The bed I am working in has been neglected for years, is that why there are so many spiders. Now that we've been ripping up their hiding spots. I know, I know spiders eat other bugs I get that. A few spiders here and there I can deal with ....sorta....but 20+ spiders running a muck....NOT COOL.
Come on, tell me what I wanna hear...........please????
Again!!!
Everytime I get a cold or something like a cold......my voice takes off. This is officially the first day without a voice, it was kinda horse yesterday. I wonder how long it will last this time. Last year this time I lost it for almost 3 weeks!!!
They're supposed to be fun right?? Well lets go back a few days.......
Last Thursday after Em got her ears pierced and was screaming bloody murder. I was trying to calm her down and comfort her. I noticed an eyelash on her cheek. I said to her "ooh lets make a wish" she looked at me funny. I explained that if she made a wish and then blew the eyelash off my finger it would come true. She closed her eyes and wished hard. I reminded her she had to keep it secret or it wouldn't come true. The tears stopped and she was calm once again.
Fast fwd to last night.
Jim comes running downstairs with Em in his arms. She is crying and he is saying something about telling me because I was the only one who could fix it. She sits on my lap tears rolling down her face. She says to me:
Em- "after I got my ears pierced, my eyebrow fell off and I made a wish.....I'm scared.
Me- " Em, calm down, what?"
Em- " remember after I got my ears pierced, my eyebrow (eyelash) fell off and I made a wish. I don't want my wish to come true. I am scared. CRYING so hard.
Me- " Em, what did you wish?"
Em- " to go to the moon" CRYING HYSTERICALLY NOW!!
Trying not to laugh, its so cute-one of her tears fell on my hand and I made up a new rule. If your crying and a tear falls on someone else you can trade a previously made wish. Phewww! I saved the day.
Can you imagine, her lying in bed crying because she was afraid her wish would come true. LOL
I just came home from the grocery store....I was starving which usually means lots of unnecessary snacks or foods. I did well. I bought tons of salad fixins and veggies. I've been struggling to get on track with this diet and just have been going slowly. A few yrs back I just had a revelation and started eating better, joined WW with my cousin and lost 18lbs in 2months. I can do it again. So this morning I just felt like well I need to do this. I think I got the mojo again. I have been doing a ton of yard work and it would be so much easier thinner-DUH!! And what a work out it is... Well I am off to weed weed weed!!! I would love to get my flowers in the garden this week.
that is where I was born and raised. I love living here. Its a small a state but filled with just about everything....cities, farms, suburbs, museums, colleges/universities, zoo, aquarium.
I just found this on a website and thought it was interesting about CT...
1639 -- first constitution adopted, establishing representative government
1656 -- first municipal public library in America, a bequest to the "towne of New Haven"
1670 -- first survey for the first turnpike in America, between Norwich and New London
1729 -- first medical diploma, granted by Yale University
1764 -- first newspaper, The Hartford Courant, published since October 29, 1764
1775 -- first submarine
1783 -- first dictionary, published by Noah Webster, born in West Hartford
1784 -- first law school in America, Litchfield Law School (Graduates included John C. Calhoun, Aaron Burr, Horace Mann, Oliver Wolcott, Jr. and Noah Webster)
1788 -- first State House in America, built after the Federal Constitution ratification
1794 -- first cotton gin, Eli Whitney of New Haven patented this invention
1803 -- first town library, tax-supported and organized in Salisbury
1806 -- first factory town in America, planned and established in Seymour
1808 -- first movable parts mass production in use, making clocks
1810 -- first insurance company, ITT Hartford Group, Inc. (Officially opened for business and people were able to take insurance for the "loss of life or personal injury while journeying by railway or steamboat"
1819 -- first industrial training school, established by Josiah Holbrook in Derby
1836 -- first revolver
1842 -- first public art museum
1843 -- first portable typewriter 1844 -- first use of anesthesia
1846 -- first sewing machine, Elias Howe procured a patent for the first practical sewing machine in 1846
1853 -- first ice-making machine
1858 -- first can opener
1861 -- first Ph.D. Degree, Yale University awarded in Philosophy
1868 -- first tape measure
1877 -- first pay phone
1877 -- first telephone exchange, established in Bridgeport
1892 -- first collapsible toothpaste tube
1895 -- first hamburger, served at Louie's Lunch in New Haven
1900 -- first submarine
1907 -- first permanent public planning body in America,Hartford's Commission on the City Plan
1908 -- first lollipop
1920 -- first Frisbee, Yale students discovered empty pie plates from Mrs. Frisbie Pies in Bridgeport could be sailed across the New Haven Green
1933 -- first vacuum cleaner
1934 -- first Polaroid camera
1939 -- first FM radio station, WDRC-FM began broadcasting in Hartford
1939 -- first helicopter, Igor Sikorsky designed the first successful helicopter in the Western Hemisphere
1948 -- first color television
1949 -- first ultra high frequency UHF television station to operate on a daily basis, KC2XAK in Bridgeport
1954 -- first nuclear submarine, launched in New London
1982 -- first artificial heart, Dr. Robert K. Jarvik, a Stamford native,invented the world's first artificial heart
Its kinda cool. I worked for The Hartford, I drive by the first law school almost everyday. The frisbee-who knew that? What do you like about where you live?
Ok so today marks one week since starting WW AGAIN. I lost but hardly anything -.8. I guess at least I lost. I had a rough week, lets just say jelly beans are not my friends. Next week I will have a bigger lost, I just know it!!!
Emily is loving her earrings, but what a PITA it is to clean them etc. She won't let me near them. Last night I was so upset with her I cried. I guess Jim was able to get to them today...hopefully the crying and screaming is done.
Oh and we did a TON of work in the garden today. Jim headed out this morning to work out there with his Dad. Emily and I got dressed and headed out too. With all 10 of our hands ("B" was there too) we got it all cleared (5+years of weeds and neglect). I'll take pics later to show you the before and after.
Its raining now and I am cooking away!!!
Emily got her ears pierced this morning. She had been asking about it for some time now. I wasn't sure when was the right time. I knew it would happen some day. After talking to another Mom at dance class I found out that her pediatrician did it, so I called and made an appointment. They were so nice. She cried of course, but she is thrilled!!!
I tried to get a cute picture of her face, but she wasn't having it. So here is her pretty pink earring! By the way, you never notice how different your kids ears are until you look at them...not the same shape and even a bit lopsided- oh but they are cute ears.
alright its day 5 and so far so good. I haven't been great at counting/tracking my pts...but I have been very aware of what I eat etc... I stepped on the scale today (which I try not to do) and it went down some. I did use our treadmill some this week which is positive. My basement creeps me out, ever since the mouse incident. Baby steps right.
Ok and as far as this weather....enough with the snow. Today it has been snowing since 12:30pm or so, no accumulation but snowing none the less.
Hello....Spring......Are you out there?????? We're waiting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Somewhere Spring is laughing its arse off!!
Emily had a birthday party this morning at a friend's house. After that I didn't feel like going home so we headed out for a drive. We ended up near Cornwall, CT. It has a very old covered bridge, Emily thought it was very cool. As we were driving we saw snow flakes-omg- where is spring? I thought the flakes were because we were in the mountains, but when I got home to the hills it was snowing there too.
Here are a few photos of the Covered Bridge in West Cornwall CT..........
On the diet front, I am doing ok. Watching my pts but not always logging them. My hubby has been doing great, going on the treadmill everyday.
So this morning was the official weigh in....there were almost tears. I've gained 6lbs since my last weigh in : ( Of course I haven't really tried anything. A walk here and there. Oh and I am sure the Easter candy and oreos that have been in my house haven't helped.
The counting has begun...and I need to keep focused.
On another note, I feel like a bad Mom. Our town has updated their park and are having a grand re-opening and Easter egg hunt today, actually right now. With all the rain and wet I decided to sit it out. Emily doesn't know about it...But I feel like I should have taken her. We've already been to the park-its great, so much nicer than before (keri/heather wanna come up some nice day?) I have to admit part of me not going is I hate standing there alone while Em plays. I know people in town so I think I would have seen someone I know....but there would be so many people.....am I crazy. This weight just makes me feel so unworthy, like people won't like me because I am overweight. I already have an issue with feeling like people don't want to listen to me or hear what I have to say....sometimes I swear I say things and I feel like people don't even hear me....I've asked my husband if I speak quietly sometimes or do I say somethings in my head but feel like I spoke aloud. This summer I will have to make plans with people and make more in town friends. I think I may just get that beach pass....Em would love it.
It seems like spring is teasing us. One day beautiful, the next gloomy or freezing. Yesterday was gorgeous and I went and bought flowers and garden supplies, hoping today I could get dirty. Well, that's not going to happen!!
Thank you to all who left messages yesterday, you all had some great ideas. I am going to use them all. One way to stay on track is blogging...everyday I am going to blog about it. I think some of my problem is I forget, I get comfortable and forget. If I blog everyday I am forced to remember. I am also going to start my WW weigh in tomorrow. I don't go to meetings but I will post my losses or gains so that I have to share it with someone, maybe that will motivate me to lose. I am counting today as well- why wait for tomorrow.
TGIF
I am looking for motivation. I have none. I need to lose weight, do yard work, do house work. I just can't seem to get going. The biggest issue is the weight. I have a wedding to go to at the end of May. Its a friend/ex co-worker of Jim's. I went to high school with her sister...her sister's bff is a girl I wasn't fond of, I know its been YEARS and we've grown up, but I still don't wanna go because of my weight. I know she will be there. I've had time to lose weight but I've done nothing. I have 2 months to lose something. Then there is the dress, I have nothing. I refuse to buy something in this size. UGH. I need to count my points I need to walk everyday. Some friends in town have been walking while the kids are in school. I joined them the other day, they walk far like 3 1/2miles. Even though I am way over weight I can keep up with them. The hills are what kill me, huffin and puffin. I know the weight plays are part in this, but ever since I had pneumonia in 2001 my lungs aren't what they used to be. I'd rather huff and puff alone. lol. Oh and another need to lose weight. We have a beach in town (lake) and most of my friends get a season pass, which I would like to as well. But do I really wanna go to the beach. I wouldn't wear my bathing suit, but even shorts eeww. I dunno. Besides all of these silly reasons, 2009 is my have another baby year. I refuse to start trying until I can lose 30-40lbs...I've lost 10 of it so far. Who knows if I will be able to have one on my own or will I need to go the fertility treatment route again???
Any tips for motivation? Maybe a unflattering picture of me? I'm just not a morning person so I get up and it takes me time to get going.
I hate spiders. They completely freak me out. I am getting ready to go to bed and my cat- my baby- coughs something up, like a hair ball. He ate a HUMUNGO spider.....Eeeeewwww and out it came.... Eeeeeewwwww...Not sure if he'll be getting any kitty kisses anytime soon.
Sorry I had to share, Jim would kill me if I woke him up to tell him that.... lol
Goodnight :)
I'm getting a new car (well new to me) Monday!! We spent alittle more and the mileage was a teeny bit more than we wanted-but its very nice-well kept- and the dealer who is selling it to us sold Jim his first car back in 1998. I was beginning to think that I would have to settle on the color and this one is blue like I wanted. We were going to look at a beige one same year alittle less money, but this one was loaded all the goodies and was blue. So I am happy. I'll take pics Monday and show off my new used 200__ _______!!
Tomorrow is my blogoversary- I can't believe it....I feel like we should have a party!!
We're still looking at used cars, what a PITA! Last night I drove a car that I like, it wasn't something I thought I would like but it was nice. They were such weasels! They raised the price and tried to get us to go up higher than what we were looking for. When I got home I checked their website and saw the car and what it was listed as....they only came down like $500. I was so irritated. I understand how the world works, I realize they want to make money BUT COME ON.
We are off to look at a few more tonight. We're beginning to think we need to raise our price a little more so we can get what we want. So confused. Buying a new car is so much easier.
Wish us luck. I want two cars again!! I miss being able to just go wherever I want. I want my wheels back.
Hi everyone! Sorry I have been so MIA lately... I am just sooooo spent. The end of the school year is stressing me, I can't decide whether I want to do the Co-director thing again... The teachers keep reinforcing why I don't wanna do it-long story- I wish I could post all about it, but with privacy etc ... But I may end up doing it!!
I got my Twilight dvd Saturday, but I haven't watched it all the way. Just haven't had the time. My MIL's surprise party was Sunday and that was fun. She was surprised and everyone had a nice time.
We are going to look at another car tomorrow night, Jim test drove it today. Hopefully it'll work out and we may have a second car by this weekend.
The weather is warmer some days and then the next it is freezing- It snowed here Sunday for a bit. I missed it since I was at the party in the "city" but people here told me I missed the flurries.
I want spring. I want a vacation. I want a drink!! :) Hope everyone is doing well....
for the bloggy network to help, now is the time.
Please send prayers and strong vibes to my friend April, her hubby Big D and their precious little Hunter. They could use all the positive, healthy, strong vibes they can get. The next 24 hours will be very difficult for them.
Emily and I just spent an hour outside clearning old leaves.....Of course now I am wondering was it too soon? I found bulbs popping....are they ok now without leaves covering them? Well here are my pics....
not sure what to do with this ugly bucket, but that it is a huge eye sore...maybe fill it in with plants?
Spring is coming.....
Everything is waking up.....
Emily had an interesting question for me this morning.
Emily-"Mommy, how can you tell if a cat is a boy or a girl?"
Me-" It's hard to tell, but sometimes the vet can tell you"
Emily- "Mommy, how did the Doctor know I was a girl?"
Thank God!!
It's coming to an end. I had PMS, probably for the first time ever. It was a doozy. I have never felt that way before. But it is over. I did get my period and although I am still in a hormonal induced coma,I am no longer looking to injur anyone.
Today I did some shopping and had a great sandwich with my cousin. We were both having a slow motion kind of a day. After shopping for a few bargains we got some coffee and headed home to chatted it up.
It was a nice day!!!
UGH!! Double UGH!!
First of all I must thank chele for the chocolate suggestion....Yesterday I was losing my mind. I never felt that way. I was losing my patience with Emily, more than normal. I had a few pimples and was starting to connect the dots-no not on my face LOL. I think I was experiencing some sort of PMS. While having pcos I struggle with irregular cycles. Since having Em I have become some what normal...so maybe I am getting symptoms too. Well after a much need text convo with Chele....she suggested chocolate (not a huge fan-weird I know) I grabbed some cadbury milk chocolate eggs (thank god easter is coming) and it helped some. Maybe it was all in my head, I didn't care I felt a little better.
Today, I was doing well until I received an email. Seriously I wanted to scream. This person asked me if I was keeping things confidential that needed to confidential....seriously. Then she said....don't get me wrong I know you are.....(ok why ask then)....then she says I know you and so and so are friends.....but I wanna make sure this "issue" isn't about more than what I know about.
HELLO!!! are we ten????? I am not responding... I don't know what to do.
Michele I am eating my chocolate eggs...........
My VOLUNTEER position as a co-director at Emily's school has been stressing me lately. My partner is driving me batty. We are such opposites that I find it difficult to work with her. She seems to oppose everything, like it is a reflex. I know deep inside she has good intentions for the school. Emily most likely will remain in preschool another year, being a fall baby. So I would consider doing this job again. But I don't think I can do it with her. I sometimes worry that she could find this blog and read it. But I need to vent. I've tried so hard, to make it work. For the most part we've (or should I say I) learned each other's ways. I am a rule follower and believe other people should be as well. I am an easy going person and can go with the flow, but when it comes to running a business I believe going with the flow isn't always the best policy. Thank you for listening. I just needed to vent a bit. There are only a few months left before we have to decide who will be on the executive board next year. Can I survive??
**UPDATE**
One thing that drives me crazy about here is scheduling a time to do something. I am usually the flexible one. It always about what works for her timing wise. She just called to try and reschedule a meeting and wanted to have me meet with her and take Emily along. I am so like NO, Emily is always going to these meetings. I am not taking her to a meeting tonight with 5 adults-3 of which are her teachers- how productive would that be. UGH. Not sure why this is bothering me so much lately. Hoping it is PMS.
It bothers me. I see teens doing it, always texting someone. I am guilty, I text too. I actually prefer email myself. But, if I have something important to say I call someone or talk in person.
I was cc'd on a few emails yesterday. It was ridiculous. These two people who I have to deal with often, they can't stand each other. They both annoy me for different reasons. But I feel I am a professional and can put those things aside and try to communicate effectively with them. I learned when it comes to the important issues I must discuss in person. They have not learned this. It drove me batty yesterday. I finally replied "maybe we should all meet up in person to discuss".............the emails stopped. Thank goodness!!!
What is going to happen when talking in person is obsolete. Will the children of today not have those skills. I see the benefits of a cell phone for teens. Emergencies. Keeping track of them. No pay phones anymore they definitely need them, I get it. But come on. In my day, some kids I knew had their own phone line, that was extravagant. But rules were attached. I am sure most kids have rules. But do they all?
The written word can be read in so many different ways. Is it really the best way?
Being four is driving me batty. Emily has really had her moments lately. She has starting saying NO and sometimes lies. Yesterday while my Mom was here she wanted a juice box. She went upstairs and grabbed a fresh one. I reminded her that she had two in the fridge that she hadn't finished. She acted confused and told me she didn't see any in the fridge that were open. I told her I knew for a fact they were there and shortly after that she said she didn't need one. Later I went upstairs to do some cleaning while they watched a movie. I went to change the trash bag under the sink and there they were....2 half full juice boxes. Lovely. I went downstairs and said "guess what I found" and she was like " I am sorry Mom, I didn't want you to be mad at me". UGH. I just don't get it. She has always been such a good girl. She still is, but these things make me nervous. Like I need to get her in check now before it escalates. Whoa nelly. I am sure it is just one of those phases all kids go through. Wish me luck. Again I must say- who coined the phrase "terrible twos" Because I certainly believe so far that 3 and 4 were more interesting!
So I am planning on grocery shopping later. I need ideas. Anyone have any recipes to share? I am tired of making the same things. I need inexpensive and healthy (or semi healthy) meal ideas. I am tired of spending so much on groceries.
Oh and for those of you who asked about Christmas Tree Shoppes...It is a discount store here in the US mainly in New England but there are a few other locations (DE, IN,MI,NY, NJ, OH, PA). Its one of those stores my husband hates. They are great for holiday decorations, seasonal things. Its just one of those stores you can browse and find great bargains. I love getting tissue paper, gift bags, wrapping paper/bags.
I am on a mission cleaning today. I still haven't quite made this place how I want it, so I have piles of things all over the place. I am starting to hang pictures and things. Baby steps I know. I should have taken more before pics...Maybe I will have to look through and post some afters anyway....
Alright now help me with some recipes!! Pwease!!
Today was a strange one. I was supposed to have lunch with the ladies, but Emily is sick with a fever. I was going to take advantage and clean while we were home. Did I do that? NO! I went to talk with Jim while he was getting ready to leave for work (12:30). After he left I watched tv for a bit, put Em down for a nap. While watching tv I became so sleepy. Zzzzzz. I slept and woke up groggy. I was having the weirdest dreams, not sure if it was real or not. I watched a movie in bed then took a shower (still feeling groggy) and made us some dinner. A total waste of the day. Maybe I am fighting something off too-since Em likes to cough in my face alot.
Well, I hope everyone else had a better day. Enjoy your weekend. I'm hoping to be more productive tomorrow.
This Kitty, who I like to call Kitty Peeping Tom, comes right up to my french doors and looks around. This drives Willow nuts. I finally got it on video-LOL. Sorry it gets a bit shaking when I try and get closer...But if you ignore the tv and really listen you can hear her grunting and spitting at the peeping Tom and he is still just peering in.
Ok-some how it got flipped on its side.....sorry...its still funny!!
I started counting points again today. I so love the online points tracker but hate thinking, especially today. But I am doing it. I know I can do this. I was always skinny. I can be skinny again. I want to get on track again, so when its warm again I can walk and work in the yard. I need to call the treadmill people, my treadmill is making a funny noise. I think the belt is loose or something?
I am having lunch with the girls (Chele, April & Keri) this Saturday and am excited to get out. Thank goodness the Wood n' Tap has a great ceasar salad with blackened chicken- YUM!
I need a personal chef and personal trainer!!!
We are still living with one car. Jim's Dad helps by bringing Jim in a few days a week-Thank God! But the days when I have to bring him in or pick him up are tiring. Today was the worst.
Check out this schedule-
We headed out 7:30am
brought Jim into work 7:50am
I headed to "the city" to get a copy of Em's birth cert 8:10
Vital Stats office doesn't open till 8:30am sit in car for 20mins :(
Then headed to Walmart to kill time
Shopped for 30mins, the headed to pick Jim up for 10am
Drive to Jim's appt (work related) quick stop and headed to lunch 11am
** mind you this is basically been driving back and forth from one town to another ***
Then dropped Jim back to work and headed to yet another town to get my haircut got there early (12:30) appt was for 1pm.
Left salon at 2pm and had to pick up something for Jim at friend's house.
Head back into "city" to pick up copy of birth cert ("city" doing construction down town so city hall and vital stats in different places)
Head back to Jim's work area to go grocery shopping 2:30
Finish grocery shopping and head to pick up 4pm
Sit in car for 30mins waiting and then head home
Finally home for 5pm
I am so tired, I spent way too much time in my car. I wish you knew where I was driving-seriously back and forth. It sucked.
But my hair looks cute.
Jim couldn't wait till Saturday to give me my birthday present. So he gave it to me tonight. I'm in love. Isn't she pretty. I love coffee. I love my keurig. I almost told him to wait to give it to me tomorrow-we're going to dinner for my birthday- but tomorrow morning I will be extra happy that I opened it today!! Yay me!!
I just saw that my blogoversary is in 47 days.....
I can't believe I have been blogging for one year (almost)
My birthday is one week from today. I will be 37 years old. I can't believe I am so close to 40. Is it just me or does time fly once you hit 30. Tomorrow we are heading to my MIL's to celebrate my birthday. My hubby, my wonderful hubby ordered me my favorite cake- vanilla cake with butter cream frosting and yellow and purple roses. He even remembered my color choice. My brother's birthday was last Wednesday. Although we are 2 yrs apart our birthdays are 10 days apart and we have always celebrated them together. Its nice to celebrate with Jim's family because for the first time its only my birthday. So this week is my celebration week as my hubby likes to call it. I hope it turns out to be a great one.
I need this!!
The idea of trying to get pregnant has taken me over.
When I found out I had PCOS and heard these words "getting pregnant will be a challenge" I began to cry. I always knew my periods were irregular, but I never imagined it to this degree. I had always wanted to have children. Now that my wedding was 6mos away I was that much closer to becoming a Mom. Or so I thought.
After 3yrs and 2mos of marriage I finally had my daughter. The years before that all I could do was look at baby bedding, bottles, articles on infertility. I can't tell you how many times I would go to BabiesRus and just walk around looking at everything. (how many un-pregnant couples do this for fun) I just loved everything baby.
After I had Em, I still loved those things, but they were now all over my house. I gained more weight and I was busy with a baby. The idea of having a baby wasn't on my mind. I kept thinking -when I lose weight...
Last year my friend became pregnant and was telling me that her dr suggested an amnio because she was 35. I was also 35, I freaked. I thought to myself- did I lose my chance, am I too old. I knew I had to try, if I didn't I would regret it forever. I had to lose weight. But then the whole selling the house fiasco happened. I lost track.
Since we've moved here I had lost 11lbs and kept it off that is huge for me. Keeping it off without dieting is usually impossible. My cycles have been more frequent too. I started temping again and I am browsing baby sites. I am reading articles on PCOS and getting pregnant. I am planning on calling my obgyn for an appt so I can discuss my options. (this I am terrified about)
But today I was on BabiesRus and was browsing bottles-just to see if things had changed since I was pregnant. Seeing bottles made me smile. It was back, that NEED to have a baby. I am so in baby mode it is overwhelming. I really want another baby. Really really really!!
So bloggy friends... Here we go....are you ready....for the ups and downs of trying to get pregnant....when your body just won't cooperate. Lets pray for a miracle.
"Someone" I know is VERY sensitive and I have learned over the years to soften my approach when dealing with certain subjects. Sometimes I wanna punch this person out. I just had a conversation with this person and I said all I wanted to say and it felt good.
Now on the other hand...I still wanna punch this person out.
UGH
I can't believe it is after 8pm on Sunday night. This weekend flew by. I can't even say I was busy. We finally have the missing piece to our treadmill and Jim cleaned up some in the cellar. Hopefully we can start using our equipment and start losing weight. I have maintained the 10 lbs I have lost so far and that is huge for me. Usually when I stop counting pts I put the weight back on. Funny thing, even though I am still down the 10 lbs I feel bigger. UGH! So wish me luck this week. My birthday is coming up, 13days away. I wanna lose some more before then. Motivation-getting closer to 40....Holy crap!!
So far, no more mousies caught. Oh and McGiver Mouse is still MIA. Hopefully he hit the hills running and took his family with him. I doubt it. But I did buy some more traps Friday, haven't set them yet. But every time we set traps we've been lucky to catch something. So I am happy to have 2 empty traps in my cellar. I want my hubby to clean the area where I think they are living, but he's not hearing me. LOL. I wouldn't be hearing him either.
Today at Target I bought a blue baby blanket. It was on clearance for 98 cents. I couldn't pass it up. I want to lose weight so I can start trying for a second baby. If we were to have a boy I wouldn't want him to be cold. So I am not crazy right. My hubby is 100% on board for baby #2, but he doesn't get why I bought a blanket. He thinks I think that if I buy a baby blanket I will have a baby. He is such a boy sometimes. I received a booklet of coupons in the mail for all things baby the other day and a sample infant diaper. I haven't received anything like that is months. Besides everything I was signed up for before was at the old address. I see those as signs, I believe in signs. 2009 is my year to try to get pregnant. If I do, I do. If I don't, I have beautiful daughter. I am not getting any younger.
I feel like it is one thing after another. But this mousie situation is pushing me off the edge.
Wed night we put out 2 new traps. Thurs I was waiting for Jim to come home to look. When he came home I started to ask him about it and he said this morning he looked and saw we caught one. Ewww!! Later on I asked him to go and take care of it :) so he goes downstairs and 3mins later I heard Ewww and he comes running out the door and freaked out. He hesitates to tell me what happened-then I was like no I don't want to know. I am thinking it made a "mess" or suttin. Well he begins to tell me how its not head first (the other two had their heads in the traps so you could only see their butts) it kinda caught in the middle he was like "its looking at me" and he made this face lol...then he says "it may be my eyes playing tricks on me, but I swear the head moved" and he then goes on to make this funny face and shake his head LOL...we argue about what to do, I feel bad if its alive I don't want it suffering. Jim takes that as I want him to kill it....EWWWW EWWWW...never!! So he finally goes back down and poked at the trap and the mouse escaped!!! and Jim freaked out and came running upstairs and slammed the door. Now we wondered why if the mouse was alive and obviously could get out of the trap....why was he in there all day and maybe night LOL and now is it dying someplace....EEEEWWWWW
My car is safe in my garage.
This Monday Jim's car died (seems I've been braking cars lately). We expected his to die, we just didn't know when. I can't believe the timing, 2 cars breaking down so close together. Now we have to look into a used vehicle. We're doing our research because we've both always bought new. We don't want to spend what little money we have and get a piece of junk. I definitely want something all wheel or four wheel drive-the roads around here are so bad during the winter.
But my car is back...I hate not having a car.
I finally did it, I joined Facebook. I didn't want to at first, kind of like blogging, but I am glad I did. When I first signed on I saw so many faces faces, faces of people I went to high school with. This was very emotional for me. I had a rough time during the last 2yrs of high school (long story-maybe another post-someday) Seeing these faces brought back so many memories, some good and some bad. I even felt alienated like high school could sometimes do to you. Once I began chatting with friends who meant something to me it was nice to reconnect. But on other days seeing pics from high school I would be thrown back into those feelings. My bad times in high school began after a breakup with my first love (I know, I know so typical) but knowing what I know now I SOOOO needed therapy then. But I didn't get therapy. I ended up in a doing things I'm not so proud of, some things that are so un-me. I sometimes wonder what my life would have been like if I didn't take that road. I am glad I ended up here with Jim and Emily. But I could've done so much more, been so much more. I loved high school (minus the crazy times) I guess sometimes when I think of hs I don't think of those times when I was not there...Just the times I enjoyed. But those bad times happened and maybe fb is throwing them in my face. Looking at pics friends have posted I realized that high school went on without me those last 2 yrs. So to me I have all these memories of high school and my friends. But to them I was there for only part of the fun. (I know I am being vague=but seriously that post would bring on many tears) I am jealous and I am sad. Seeing pictures of that certain ex boyfriend with his girlfriend. The gf he had cheated on me with and went out with for most of hs after me. The gf who was one of my childhood best friends. They ended up being captain of the football team and captain of the cheerleaders UGH Stab!!! Why does this picture from 18yrs ago still make me wanna hurl.
Know any good therapists?
I apologize for the run on sentences and bad grammar, I just needed to vent and didn't want to re-read it. Sorry!!
