Saturday, April 4, 2009

Day One

So this morning was the official weigh in....there were almost tears. I've gained 6lbs since my last weigh in : ( Of course I haven't really tried anything. A walk here and there. Oh and I am sure the Easter candy and oreos that have been in my house haven't helped.

The counting has begun...and I need to keep focused.

On another note, I feel like a bad Mom. Our town has updated their park and are having a grand re-opening and Easter egg hunt today, actually right now. With all the rain and wet I decided to sit it out. Emily doesn't know about it...But I feel like I should have taken her. We've already been to the park-its great, so much nicer than before (keri/heather wanna come up some nice day?) I have to admit part of me not going is I hate standing there alone while Em plays. I know people in town so I think I would have seen someone I know....but there would be so many I crazy. This weight just makes me feel so unworthy, like people won't like me because I am overweight. I already have an issue with feeling like people don't want to listen to me or hear what I have to say....sometimes I swear I say things and I feel like people don't even hear me....I've asked my husband if I speak quietly sometimes or do I say somethings in my head but feel like I spoke aloud. This summer I will have to make plans with people and make more in town friends. I think I may just get that beach pass....Em would love it.


Flea said...

I love your new template. :)

You're not a bad mom. You're a good mom. Don't beat yourself up. I think it's good, though, to recognize where you struggle and tackle it head on, when you're ready. It's going to be okay. We're often far more sensitive about what people are thinking than what they really are.

Amanda said...

Don't worry about the weight gain ~ because it will be the last time you will see those numbers on the scale ~ you will be a big 'loser' now from week to week!

I know that i spend too much of my time bothering about how and what other people think of me ~ you are not alone there.

And get that beach pass ~ you will all have a blast!

Hope you are having a great weekend,

Amanda x

Heather said...

you are not a bad mom! believe me i agree with you 100 percent! our town had an easter egg hunt yesterday that i skipped out on! yes i will bring the kids up your way for a play date at the park!

Robyn said...

Don't feel bad I don't do Easter at all.
I know how you feel sometimes you just have to put yourself out there. It isn't the most comfortable thing, but, sometimes you gotta do whatcha gotta do.

Bluevelvet24 said...

Aww...Julie. It is so not that way. You are awesome. Anyone you would meet would love to be friends with you. I've known you for years now and you are a great friend. Don't feel that way at all. You are not a bad mom either. You are a great mom and you have a wonderful daughter to show for it. I feel uncomfortable because of my way and I have my blue days but you have to think positively. Don't miss out on anything. Just be yourself and let your confidence shine right through.

Bluevelvet24 said...

Are you doing WW on your own? I could do it too and we can be WW buddies. We could call each other if we are having a tough day. I was thinking of joining again when I get paid on the 15th. If you ever want to go walking, let me know. I am off this Friday and weekends are always good. If we went to the park, I could always bring Daisy. She loves to go outside. We should go for coffee. I will give you a call tomorrow.

April said...

Julie! I want to squeeze you in a bear hug right now! I know exactly what you mean...I sometimes feel like people are judging me and not really listening to me (becuz I'm not thin enough or pretty enough or smart enough or whatever) and it's tough! The past year or so though I really feel like I'm coming into...myself. I'm trying to just love myself for ME and not worry so much about what OTHER people think (or even what I THINK they might be thinking!). I know, I know, it's easier said than done, right?

Don't be so hard on yourself though. You have a lot to offer to the world and you are a great friend! You will meet more people around your area as the weather warms up, I know it! And after I have this baby, I will going on ww too, so I will be using YOU as my inspiration by then. :-) You can do it!