sleep, babies and swimming

I don't want to jinx us, but the sun has been a wonderful addition to my week. I did some yard work yesterday and some reading. For the first time this summer we were outside all day.

I've been struggling to stay motivated with this "life change" and decided to try ww meetings again. Just knowing someone else will know if you gained or loss seems to motivate me.

I finally slept well last night. The three nights prior I woke up around 4:30am and couldn't fall back to sleep until like 7am or so. One of those nights I almost had a mini melt down. I felt like at that moment I was too late to have another baby. I was certain that I was too old, that I didn't have enough time to lose the weight I wanted to and I would be too old to use the fertility coverage if it came to that. It was just so real, it felt like the end. But then I had a dream that someone wanted us to adopt their baby boy- I was thrilled. So who knows what my subconscious was trying to tell me.

Lately I feel like I have nothing to blog about. I took pictures the other day to post and now I've misplaced my camera. Maybe I should find that today. I am hopefully heading to the beach (shore) this week and also probably checking out the town beach (lake) and see if its worth getting a pass to. I know a lot of people who go (one of who annoys me some- when it came to school politics- but that part of our relationship is over) I know Em will have a blast. Also Emily starts swimming lessons Monday for 3 wks (there goes my sleeping in). I'm looking forward to seeing her do this, its her first time too.