Thursday, February 5, 2009

It has taken over....

The idea of trying to get pregnant has taken me over.

When I found out I had PCOS and heard these words "getting pregnant will be a challenge" I began to cry. I always knew my periods were irregular, but I never imagined it to this degree. I had always wanted to have children. Now that my wedding was 6mos away I was that much closer to becoming a Mom. Or so I thought.

After 3yrs and 2mos of marriage I finally had my daughter. The years before that all I could do was look at baby bedding, bottles, articles on infertility. I can't tell you how many times I would go to BabiesRus and just walk around looking at everything. (how many un-pregnant couples do this for fun) I just loved everything baby.

After I had Em, I still loved those things, but they were now all over my house. I gained more weight and I was busy with a baby. The idea of having a baby wasn't on my mind. I kept thinking -when I lose weight...

Last year my friend became pregnant and was telling me that her dr suggested an amnio because she was 35. I was also 35, I freaked. I thought to myself- did I lose my chance, am I too old. I knew I had to try, if I didn't I would regret it forever. I had to lose weight. But then the whole selling the house fiasco happened. I lost track.

Since we've moved here I had lost 11lbs and kept it off that is huge for me. Keeping it off without dieting is usually impossible. My cycles have been more frequent too. I started temping again and I am browsing baby sites. I am reading articles on PCOS and getting pregnant. I am planning on calling my obgyn for an appt so I can discuss my options. (this I am terrified about)
But today I was on BabiesRus and was browsing bottles-just to see if things had changed since I was pregnant. Seeing bottles made me smile. It was back, that NEED to have a baby. I am so in baby mode it is overwhelming. I really want another baby. Really really really!!

So bloggy friends... Here we go....are you ready....for the ups and downs of trying to get pregnant....when your body just won't cooperate. Lets pray for a miracle.


~**Dawn**~ said...

I understand that "need" and the frustration associated with having it unrelaized--albeit for a very different reason. I have always pictured myself with kids. Always loved babies & children. Always loved shopping for baby gifts for other people. Heck, I even majored in early childhood development because the whole process starting with pregnancy has always amazed and fascinated me. But my life circumstances have precluded me actually *having* kids thus far and with every passing pbirthday, I feel like my chances are slipping further away.

I'm going to keep my fingers crossed for you that your journey brings you to the place you are hoping to reach.

Tabitha said...

Keeping my fingers crossed that you won't have to wait too long for good news!!
take care ~ love and hugs Tabitha XX

Robyn said...

Good Luck!

April said...

I'm going to be praying to the baby gods for you!!!!