Friday, May 9, 2008

Cat lovers....

I got this from my husband's aunt in FL, she is a huge cat lover like me. We are both lovers of all animals, but happen to share our lives with just cats at the moment- sorry dog lovers :)

DOG DIARY
8:00 AM - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 AM - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 AM - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 AM - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

CAT DIARY
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hashor some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for therationsperfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up mystrength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. Ihad hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearlydemonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescendingcomments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Idiots!There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placedin solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hearthe noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due tothe power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it tomy advantage.Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of mytormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must trythisagain tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems tobe more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

1 comments:

Keri said...

Oh how i loved that diary...
i had it posted above my office desk when i worked at the vet's.