Diet Smiet....

Another Monday, another day of TRYING to lose weight. With my PCOS it's so hard to lose weight. I struggle just to not gain weight. After high school I started to put some weight on, but nothing crazy. When I felt like I was uncomfortable, I would just 'eat less'- I never really dieted or thought about dieting. When I was 26 I met the man of my dreams and even though I was about 35lbs heavier and 2sizes bigger than HS- I was happy & totally comfortable with who I was. Over the next 2-3yrs it seemed like every time I stepped on the scale I was 5lbs heavier. No matter what I did, I just was gaining, and quickly. About 6mos before I got married I found out I had PCOS. When I was planning my wedding (50lbs heavier than when I met hubby) I felt ucky and uncomfortable and was beginning to hate buying clothes. 2yrs later I FINALLY became pregnant (another 30lbs heavier). I actually did very well with my weight when I was pregnant, because PCOS has a lot to do with hormones, for 40wks I was 'normal'. After having my daughter I lost all my 'baby weight' by wk 3....but soon after I stopped nursing, again crazy hormones, I gained all the baby weight back. Now somehow and somewhere during the past 3 1/2yrs I have gained approx. 40lbs!!!! It seems like for the past 1 1/2yrs I have been struggling to maintain this CRAZY WEIGHT!!!! and thru that time I have maintained and not gained anymore- That to me is an accomplishment. I don't want to stay where I am. But of course for a MILLION & ONE reasons I want to lose weight. If I could lose 30lbs I would like to start ttc and then if I can lose 40lbs I will be at the same weight as my first OBGYN appt. So from there I would obviously try to continue losing...... If I were lucky to have another baby- I would do so many things different after their birth. When we are in the 'country' I will have more options for exercise and outdoorsy kinds of things. Living in the 'city' I feel like I am sometimes stuck inside. (WHOA-am I babbling or what??) So I am counting my WW pts today, with what little food is in the house-so far so good.......I NEED to do this!!!!!!!!